


Of Mice and Men

by chanderson



Series: Young, Scrappy, and Hungry [13]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Established Relationship, M/M, Older Man/Younger Man, Politics
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 18:12:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10949985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chanderson/pseuds/chanderson
Summary: "I don’t want you to give up the presidency for me. I want you to be president because that’s what you’re meant to do. You’re not supposed to sit around planning fundraisers with a bunch of wine moms; you’re supposed to lead America.”





	Of Mice and Men

**Author's Note:**

> I kind of hate this b/c it's super dialogue heavy and I always hate dialogue heavy things that I write BUT that's okay. It is what it is. This starts super angsty, but the ending should make up for it :-)
> 
> FYI, I mention it in the beginning, but this work is set after the midterms so around a year after the last fic! (aka we are now 2 years into George's presidency)

“Where’s Alex?” Lafayette asks as he walks into the dining room, a copy of the Washington Post tucked under his arm. 

“He was feeling kinda crummy so I let him sleep in. Want some coffee?” George asks, lifting the coffee pot.

Lafayette sits down and nods. “Yeah thanks. What’s for breakfast this morning?”

“I think omelets,” George says as he pours Lafayette a cup of coffee. “You picked a good day to join me for breakfast.”

“Damn, I sure did.” Lafayette opens up the Washington Post and glances at George over the top, giving him an odd look. George smiles and raises his eyebrows. 

“Why’re you looking at me like that?” 

“Do you remember the night of the midterms,” Lafayette says, ignoring George’s question. George nods, pursing his lips. 

“Yeah it was only like a month and a half ago, Gil. I’m not _that_ old.” 

Lafayette rolls his eyes and takes a sip of his coffee. “Well, since we won a super majority in Congress, I’m sure you and Alex… celebrated, right?” 

George chokes on his coffee and sits there doubled over by wet, hacking coughs for several seconds. Lafayette smirks and takes a pointed sip of his coffee. “Right. I thought so. Well, Adrienne and I did too. It was fantastic, by the way.”

George shakes his head and sighs exasperatedly. “Look, brother, I love you, but I honestly don’t want to talk about how great your election night sex was. Especially because, like I said, it wasa month and a half ago.” 

Lafayette opens his mouth to respond, but promptly clamps it shut when their food is brought in. They both murmur their thanks and wait for the room to clear before relaxing again. 

“Well,” Lafayette says after they both eat a few bites. “I only bring it up—it being the mind blowing sex we had—because it’s related to some good news,” Lafayette says cryptically, barely suppressing a grin. George frowns in confusion and shakes his head. 

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“Adrienne is finally pregnant,” Lafayette says, smirking when George’s mouth drops open. 

“Holy shit, Gilbert!” George says, laughing. “I didn’t think you guys would ever get pregnant again. That’s amazing!” 

“I know; we found out a few days ago. We wanted to be absolutely sure before we started to tell people, and you’re the first person we wanted to tell so, congrats.” Lafayette grins and practically bounces in his seat. “Adrienne is even more ecstatic than I am.”

“God, I bet,” George says a little wistfully. “How’s Geo taking it?”

“We were worried about his reaction, but he seems excited. The age difference is pretty significant, but we talked to a child psychologist on the phone yesterday, and he said that it shouldn’t matter, that siblings with large age differences can still end up being very close.”

George can feel tears welling up in his eyes and he reaches up to rub them away. “I’m so fucking happy for you, Gilbert. Do you guys want a boy or girl?”

“Definitely a girl.”

“Yeah, I’d want one of each too,” George murmurs as he stabs at a piece of omelet, trying to suppress the nasty jealousy coiling in his stomach. “I’m really happy for you, brother.”

“Thanks. I know she’s gonna love her uncle,” Lafayette teases. “I already know you’re gonna spoil the shit out of her.”

“Well duh,” George says. They both laugh and sit back in their chairs. 

George wonders how it would feel to tell people that Alex and his adoption was finalized, that they’d be getting a little baby soon. Adrienne would be fussing over them, helping Alex decorate the nursery. Lafayette and him would build the crib and baby-proof the house, and it would all be so perfect. 

“—George, hey, you alright?” Lafayette reaches over to touch the back of George’s hand, and George jumps, startled out of his thoughts.

“What, sorry?” he asks, flustered. Lafayette frowns and studies George’s face, his expression unreadable. 

“You know it’s okay to feel jealous,” he finally says. George bristles and shakes his head quickly. 

“I’m not jealous. I don’t want kids,” he says automatically. Lafayette narrows his eyes and scoffs. 

“Bullshit. I know you, George Washington.”

George swallows, the omelet in front of him quickly losing its appeal. “I’m gonna go check on Alex and see if he’s well enough to come in today. Congrats again, Gil. You and Adrienne will have to come to dinner sometime this week, alright?”

Lafayette sighs and smiles a little sadly. “Definitely. See you in the briefing later.”

George nods and leaves his half-eaten omelet on the table. 

Alex is still curled up in bed when George tip-toes into the bedroom, so he quietly walks over and shakes Alex’s shoulder. “Hey, Alex?” he whispers. “Wake up for a second, sweetheart.”

Alex groans and shakes his head. “Sleeping,” he slurs. 

“I know,” George says. “But I need you to wake up just for a second, okay?”

Alex grumbles something under his breath and sits up. His hair is a mess and he looks at George sleepily. “What?”

“How’re you feeling?” George sits on the edge of the bed and rests the back of his hand against Alex’s forehead. “You don’t really feel hot.”

“I’m fine, just tired,” Alex says. “I’ll be down by eight, don’t worry.”

George leans forward and kisses Alex gently. “You wanna hear some good news before you get up?” 

Alex smiles and nods. “Yeah, sure. What is it?”

“Gil and Adrienne are having a baby.” 

Alex’s eyes light up and he grins. “Aw that’s awesome. I’m so happy for them.”

George smiles a little sadly and nods. “Yeah me too. I hope they have a girl.”

“So you can spoil her?” Alex smirks. 

“You know me so well. Gil said the same thing,” George chuckles before kissing Alex’s cheek. “But I mean, I don’t exactly have anyone else to spoil, so of course I’m going to spoil her.”

He means it as a joke, but as soon as the words are out of his mouth he wants to take them back. Alex gives him a pitying look, not even bothering to cover it up. 

“You’ve got Argos,” he half-heartedly jokes. 

“Yeah,” George says softly, glancing away. “But, uh, I should get down to the office. I’ll see you in the briefing.” George quickly gets up and nervously chews on his lip. Alex sighs and reaches out to grab George’s hand. 

“Hey, I love you,” Alex says gently. 

George nods and pulls his hand away. “I love you too.”

*******

Alex strides into Angelica’s office after knocking and pushing the door open all in one move. “I think I’ve created a monster,” he says as he plops down in one of the chairs in front of her desk. She arches her eyebrows and frowns. 

“One, why are you in my office, and two, what do you mean?”

Alex rolls his eyes. “One, because we’re friends—even though you won’t admit it—and two, I think George is sad about not having kids now. I brought it up once, like a year ago, because I thought he was upset about not having kids or being married, and then we were just being goofy and made up this whole… thing… about these kids we’d have and a house in the suburbs. A stupid little fantasy—”

“And now you think that George is attached to that idea and wants it when he didn’t used to,” Angelica finishes for him. He huffs and glares at her but nods his head.

“Pretty much. Took the words right out of my mouth _like always_ ,” Alex mutters. Angelica smirks, but soon replaces it with a more serious expression. 

“George loves you; it only makes sense that he would want a substantial life with you.”

“But he can’t have it, so I should stop indulging him, right? Tell him that he needs to cut it out, that there’s never going to be a Lawrence or a Rachel?” 

Angelica frowns and takes a sip of her coffee. “I mean, I guess you should just _gently_ remind him that you guys won’t be able to have those things. And try to put things in perspective for him. He’s _president_. I think he somehow forgets how important and special that is sometimes.” 

“Do you think he likes being president?” 

“I don’t know… You know him better than I do. He seems happy, though. And things are going well. His approval ratings are a godsend.”

“He’s an amazing president… but I don’t know if it’s what he wants anymore. I honestly don’t know if it’s what he ever actually wanted.”

“What do you mean?” Angelica asks slowly, shifting her weight. 

“On election night, I remember him being really, really nervous. Do you remember that? He was so nervous that it literally made him sick. I went to go talk to him and he asked me if it was bad that he was having second thoughts. I think he still has those.”

“Second thoughts about being president?”

Alex nods. “George is ambitious, but he’s also shy and introverted, you know? I don’t think he’s really suited for public life. It makes him uncomfortable.”

Angelica nods and drums her nails on her desk. “Alex, why’re you telling me all of this?”

“I’m worried that George is getting himself hung up on this idea of a life with me, and I’m worried he’s going to try to give up his political career to obtain it, but that life can never exist. He’ll always be President Washington, and I don’t think he gets that.”

“He gets it,” Angelica says matter-of-factly. “He just doesn’t want to accept it.”

“If I tell him this, it’s going to hurt him, isn’t it?”

“I think so, yes,” Angelica says softly. 

Alex’s shoulders sag and he rubs his face. “Alright, thanks Angelica. See you in the briefing.” Alex hauls himself out of his seat, but Angelica stops him before he opens the door. 

“Hey Alex?”

“Yeah?” he asks, turning around to look at her. 

“It’ll be okay.”

Alex smiles weakly and nods. “Thanks Angelica.”

\---

Alex and George are curled up in bed together watching a movie, and Argos is pressed up against Alex’s back sound asleep. 

Alex can tell that George isn’t really paying attention to the movie. He’s staring at the screen, but his eyes are glassy and unfocused. He’s been like that all day, so Alex tried desperately to cheer him up and get him to talk about what’s going on. 

He got their dinner sent to the bedroom so they could eat in bed; he drew them a bath so they could relax together; and he put on Forrest Gump, George’s favorite movie. 

But George’s face is still stony and guarded. He’s retreated into the place only he has access to, a place fortified by walls that stretch up into the clouds. It’s a dark place, but Alex has no way of letting in the light. 

“Hey,” Alex finally says, gently nudging George’s arm. George blinks and nods. 

“Yeah?” he says absently, not bothering to look away from the screen. 

“Are you okay? You seem really sad, George.” 

“I’m alright.” He pauses and takes a sighing breath. “Adrienne called me earlier and asked me if I thought a pastel green and yellow color scheme would be good for a nursery. I said yes.”

Alex frowns and absently draws circles on George’s stomach. “That sounds nice. Not what I would choose, but I’m sure it’ll look nice.”

“What would you choose?” George asks. 

“A nice pastel blue and white. It would be cloud themed.” 

“That sounds nice,” George murmurs. 

“Yeah,” Alex says a little uncomfortably. They’re like some sad adaption of _Of Mice and Men_. All they need is some rabbits and a gun.

“I’d have to choose a light colored wood for the crib,” George says absently, more to himself than to Alex. “A dark wood wouldn’t look good with such light colors. We could get a nice rocking chair to match and a changing tab—”

“George,” Alex says suddenly, cutting him off. “Look, we need to talk, okay?”

George frowns, his eyebrows crinkling in confusion. “Okay,” he says slowly. 

Alex sighs and jabs at the remote to turn the TV off. “You know that we can’t… we’re never going to adopt babies or live in a nice house in the suburbs. That was just supposed to be a little joke to cheer you up. You can’t keep focusing on it. You need to focus on your political career. I mean, it’s practically election season. We’re going to have to start filing papers soon. You need to focus on reelection.”

George falls silent, and Alex can practically feel him closing himself off. Alex sighs and rubs George’s stomach, trying to soothe him. 

“What if I don’t want to run again?” he finally asks. 

“George,” Alex laughs. “You can’t be serious. There’s no way in hell you’re not running again. You’re so popular you basically have the American people in the palm of your hand. You’re running again, and that’s non-negotiable,” Alex says firmly. He feels George take in a deep breath, his stomach expanding under Alex’s hand. 

“What if I don’t want to?” he repeats again, his voice tight like he’s trying not to get worked up. 

“You have to run,” Alex insists. “I won’t let you quit. You can’t give up your political career because you think we have some idyllic future waiting for us. We don’t, George, and you’re smart enough to know that.”

“But we could,” George whispers. 

“Christ, George,” Alex snaps. “Where’s your sense of civic duty?” 

George tenses up and narrows his eyes. “What?”

“Your sense of civic duty,” Alex repeats slowly. “That’s why you ran the first time, right? Because they asked you? It wasn’t really your choice. You’re just a dedicated American who stepped up to the plate. What happened to that man, George? Did I seriously wring that out of you? Are you _that_ selfish now?”

“Don’t speak to me that way, Alex,” George snaps. “Does wanting a good life really make me selfish? Is that the definition of selfish now?”

“It is when you have the power to help so many people’s lives. People are better off because of you, George, but apparently you would just give all of that up to run away and ruin your career.”

“I thought—don’t you want us to be happy?”

“Yes, but I also don’t want to tank your political career. I won’t let you fuck yourself—or the American people—over because of me. I’d rather leave you than let you do that.”

George makes a strangled, choking noise and pulls away from Alex. “What the fuck, Alex?” 

Alex cringes and puts a hand on George’s arm. “Okay, so maybe that was a little bit of a bold statement, but I’m trying to get you to see reason here, baby.”

George shakes his head and shrugs Alex’s hand off. “You used to be so worried that you were holding me back. Does that not matter to you anymore?”

Alex sighs and tries to take a calming breath. “George, of course that matters to me. I’ve never wanted to keep you from having the things that make you happy. I told you that you couldn’t have both me and the whole domestic thing. I told you that, so don’t curse at me and act like I’m destroying your hopes and dreams. You knew what you signed up for.”

“I’m glad everything we do is such a fun joke for you then,” George says snidely. “I’m glad you’ve had fun placating me like some stupid child.”

“Honey, c’mon, it isn’t a joke per-say… It was just, it was a nice thing to think about, you know? Like our little inside thing. But surely you had to realize it wasn’t going to happen. You can’t be a successful politician and be bisexual. Not in this political climate, and especially not if you’re a black man.”

“So you don’t even care that I’d give up being president for you?” George asks angrily. 

“ _No_ ,” Alex finally shouts, his composure shattered. “No I don’t, George, because I think that’s fucking stupid and selfish. I don’t want you to give up the presidency for me. I want you to be president because that’s what you’re meant to do. You’re not supposed to sit around planning fundraisers with a bunch of wine moms; you’re supposed to lead America.” 

Alex’s shouting startles Argos and he jumps off the bed and curls up on his doggy bed in the corner. George’s shoulders sag and he holds his head in his hands. 

“Would you still love me if I wasn’t president?” he asks softly. 

The question catches Alex off guard and he sputters, at a loss for words. 

_I don’t know_.

The realization makes Alex feel sick.

George is expectantly looking at Alex with his big, sweet brown eyes, and it twists a knife into Alex’s chest so deeply that he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to pull it out.

“I don’t know,” he finally whispers, staring at his lap. 

George’s breath hitches once, twice, and a third time as he struggles to get himself under control. 

“Well, I would love you no matter what,” George says thickly. 

Alex’s favorite pet snake, Guilt, is twisting its way up his body, ready to sink its poison fangs into his neck. 

“George—”

“Don’t, Alex. You can’t apologize or take it back so just don’t,” George says wearily. 

“No, please,” Alex tries again, but George just shakes his head. 

“It’s fine. I get it.”

“ _George_ ,” Alex begs. 

Why does he always end up burning the things he loves?

“I didn’t realize our love had conditions, and now I do. That’s good to know.”

“It’s not like that,” Alex says. “I just can’t let you give up your political career for me. I know that you would never forgive yourself if you didn’t run again, and you would end up resenting me. I know this because people like you and me? We don’t do regular. We aren’t like other people.” 

George nods. “I know.” 

“I’m so sorry, George,” Alex whispers. “But I couldn’t live with myself if I let you throw away everything we’ve worked for. You’ve bled for this country; you watched men _die_ for this country. Don’t abandon it now.” 

George is silent for several seconds before he looks up at Alex, his expression wounded.

“Why wouldn’t you love me if I wasn’t president?”

Alex reaches over and pulls George against his chest, and George goes willingly, slumping against him. Alex takes a deep breath and brushes his lips against the top of George’s head. 

“Because, George,” Alex says gently. “You have a gift, and I don’t know if I could respect someone who would willingly throw that gift away. You were made to lead people. You are literally a natural-born leader. It’s obvious in everything you do.” Alex runs his hand up and down George’s arm in an attempt to soothe him. “You’re the real deal, a true patriot, and we don’t get very many of those. I can’t believe you would even fathom giving that up. That’s not the George Washington I know.”

“I know,” George sighs, deflating and sagging against Alex’s chest.

“Are you okay?” Alex whispers before kissing the top of George’s head.

George just nods and lets his eyes fall closed. 

They lay there in silence, and Alex continues to cradle George against his chest, listening to the even in-and-out of his breathing. 

After a few minutes, George takes a deep breath and kisses Alex’s jaw. “Can I ask you something, Alexander?” he asks hesitantly. 

“Sure…” Alex says slowly. 

George takes another deep breath and sits up to face Alex. “When I get out of office, will you marry me?” he asks softly. “Not like a real marriage obviously, but an unofficial one? It could just be Lafayette and Angelica there. It would be just for us.” 

George is staring straight into Alex’s eyes, and it’s the most vulnerable Alex has ever seen him. The naked, raw emotion is written across his face, and Alex almost flinches under the intensity of it. Sometimes Alex forgets the responsibility that comes with holding someone else’s heart in the palm of your hand.

He swallows past a sudden lump in his throat and nods, darting his tongue out to lick his dry lips. “Of course I will, George,” he whispers. 

George nods and pulls Alex into a kiss. Alex expects it to be frenzied, but it’s slow and gentle, all tongue and soft lips. When they pull apart, Alex is surprised to find that his cheeks are wet with tears. He quickly wipes them away and gives George a watery smile. 

If they really are a sad adaption of _Of Mice and Men_ , then at least their ending is better than Steinbeck’s.

**Author's Note:**

> SORRY that this sucked major ass. I just felt like I needed to get something written before I'm gonna have to be on hiatus for like the next two weeks. 
> 
> Comments are always appreciated!


End file.
